Leap of Faith (preparations and Day 1)

From somewhere inside me, I felt a call to come to Norway. I say I want to live a life adventure so I checked some books out of the library and notified a few friends I’d made through an on line course that I was coming and would like to meet them in person- if that would be agreeable to them.

My college roomate’s partner had lived for seven years in Norway and had two sons there. She had visited Norway to meet his sons with her partner and highly encouraged me with enthusiastic descriptions of the raw beauty. She described it as “flooded Colorado.” Then she sent me a picture of a Norwegian highlander cow and that’s all it took. I had to come find that cow.

I read a combination of books on the country, an outdated travel book and a couple of memoirs of women who ventured there on their own. Women far younger than I, nevertheless their courage inspired me. I read enough to have the impression that the Norwegian’s love of nature and values made them ‘my kind of people.’ I wanted to have an up close experience of the culture. I had very little desire to tour museums or join guided tours. My plan was to immerse myself in the everyday culture. Instead of an itinerary I wanted to follow my internal guidance and allow my heart to lead me into the adventures waiting for me.

I booked a flight, purchased a few articles of travel clothing and focused on developing my trust by remembering some of the many times in my life that the voice within me had protected me from harm. I am capable! What a marvelous opportunity to strengthen my confidence in myself, to dive deeper into self reliance, and develop far more intuitive listening skills. The preparations I made to be away from home for forty days and forty nights were mostly mental. Of course there were also the necessary details of making sure the yard was taken care of, the plants were watered, all my committee obligations had been handled, the pump pulled from my waterfall and the hot tub drained and cleaned.

Most of all, I spent time with my friends and family. I helped my youngest son’s family secure a new home in my town. I visited my eldest sons family several hours away to help them prepare their only child for daycare after being home with his parents the first two and one half years of his life.

I rode my bike. I traveled to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan with my friend of fifty years where we enjoyed the local people and hiked the National Park of Isle Royal. They claim it’s the least visited and the most revisited of all the National Parks in America. I spent time with my older sister and brother, sharing love. I traveled to Walt Disney World to help celebrate the 7th birthday of my middle son’s only child and rode all the roller coasters with them. I participated in my Ithaca Book Club. I attended my Mathis Family Reunion.

The Wednesday before I left for Norway, I packed my suitcases. The following day, I unpacked them. I decided not to take anything that I wasn’t willing to leave behind when I return. I felt as thought I only included essential items. I believed I was traveling ‘light.’ However, not knowing what I would find myself doing, I wanted to be prepared. I left my favorite rainbow unicorn dress and my hammock behind but drug along my sleeping bag, a little bit of makeup, no warm weather and a few cool weather clothes.

Still with no itinerary except a place to stay my first night (and hopeful plans to travel to Sweden with one of my Norwegian online classmates to visit our mutual Swedish online classmate at some point) I headed for the airport Sunday morning to begin my pilgrimage. I felt ill waiting to board my first flight. I know myself to be good at self healing but some foreign force had taken over my nervous system and try as I may, I couldn’t seem to get on top of it. (I am feeling quite anxious three days later just writing about it. ) I collected all my belongings -“never leave your bags unattended” - and headed to the ladies room, hoping I could simply regurgitate it out of my system. I can only explain what happened next as the fact that I admitted I was frightened of the unknown (not at all like me to do anything but pretend I was brave) and a willingness to allow that emotion to be in my psyche. When I closed the door to the bathroom stall and prepared to lean over and puke, the fear vanished, I immediately felt almost normal.

Approximately twelve years ago, my friend Denny, - over the telephone - healed a serious pain that had been running down my arm for several weeks, by encouraging me to use my “courage to allow and courage to let go.” I’d been trying to practice that ever since with little success and even less understanding. I now see that it takes much courage to be willing to feel all there is to feel. I wanted to feel good so I took a spiritual bypass on all the feelings that were not good. It’s little wonder that most all my life I’ve had a hard time letting go; my fierce clinging to all I wanted, all the good stuff, prevented my free flowing. The natural part of life, so much more than the limited experiences I allowed myself.

I was the last one to board the airplane because for some mysterious reason my ticket was flawed and the agent said she was unable to fix it in time. I was not concerned or worried. I remained faithful she would make it all okay somehow. Miraculously, at the very last minute she make one last desperate attempt and it worked. “Hurry, hurry, hurry - go!” The three of them trying to make it happen said to me. Still, I boarded with no emotion other than gratitude and relief.

I had the notion that I would be a different person when I came home. I was involved in a three day online retreat about rest, renewal, and reorientation. Listening to Day One in the Minneapolis airport during my first layover, I learned that what I was about to embark upon was a process of letting go of all I am not, all those years and activities, and energy spent building who I thought the world wanted me to be. Doing this would lead me to find the true essence of who I am.

The next flight to Amsterdam was seven and a half hours and a delightful (not restful) experience. They served a full four course meal with complimentary red wine for supper - 3 pm my time, 9 pm their time - followed by hot tea and cookie then, six hours later, a lovely hot egg sandwich. I watched a couple of movies and unsuccessfully tried to sleep, although I did have the sensation of rest.

Even though Schiphol, the Amsterdam airport, is currently understaffed by 10,000 employees, the custom process went smoothly and within a hour of disembarking I was safely at my gate half way across the terminal. Angst was absent as I moved through all the strangers and strange surroundings. Despite the numerous warning banners on my ticket website of delayed wait times and the ugly rumors of baggage fiascos at Schiphol, my impression was quite favorable. I was not in the least bit anxious although I felt many others around me in various states of confusion and irritation.

My bags and I arrived in Oslo without incident. What fun to see the yellow line that Swedish author Fredrick Bachman said God created in his book, Things My Son Needs to Know about the World! My first Norway photo. I transferred a bit of cash into krone and hailed a taxi. I carelessly neglected to follow the directions of my host who had advised me to take the train to Central City then a taxi. That (not following guidance) cost me about $95 vs $25. I chocked it up to an educational expense.

I took about a four hour nap, a short walk around the neighborhood with my host and a quick visit to the nearby grocery store. Then my host prepared a fabulous meal of halibut- that they had caught in the far north waters - and root vegetables, seasoned to perfection. For desert we enjoyed a Italian Christmas cake that was a lovely blend of sweet and tangy balsamic. The meal included much philosophical discussion and active listening on both sides. I felt very well fed, intellectually and physically, as well as safe and supported. Although I am traveling alone, I feel as though I belong wherever it is I am.

This time away from all I know about life , all that is familiar, is a time for me to allow for deep listening, a time for me to abide within my body to expose my true essence. A time to allow me to know me and to allow my light to shine.