Diving deeper - takes what?

In my case, it took Willy. Willy cracked my heart open deeply - it's what I'd been waiting for. I have known for a long time that that my feelings are turned back so far that I can only feel on the surface. I was mostly happy and I learned how to turn on sad. That was the first step. I also knew this was a life long journey. As part of my trust process, I've recently developed a practice of patience, knowing what is best for me will come in time. The more patient I become, trusting the the timing and not trying to force it, the quicker it seems to come.

Everywhere I turned I saw swans - the symbol for diving deeper.

Sure the cruise ship was a great experience but I just wasn't quite sure why I'd been called to take it. Yes, Monica recommended it and yes I choose to love every minute if it. But even after turning in my card and getting off the boat in Bergen I was still wondering about the mystery of why I had made that unexpected addition to my journey

Now I understand- Willy was on that ship. I only saw him once that I recall. The last morning at breakfast, after I had acknowledged to the pan hand drummer what an impact she had in on me, she asked if I were staying overnight in Bergen when we got off the boat. I told her I had reservations at the hostel there. "Oh he is staying there also," She pointed to an elderly, frail looking man sitting at the next table with his back ot us. That is the only time I saw Willy on the ship.

After getting off the ship I put the address of the hostel into google maps on my phone. It was over an hour walk. I know that means for me at least one and one half hours so I headed for the center of town to see if I could figure out how to ride the bus there.

I had yet to lean how to read my gps guidance, (that explains getting lost in Trondheim) so I took many turns and circled back, remaining constantly calm. I may have lost my bearings but not my confidence or trust. I heard something behind me. "Woman from America!" I turned around to see the pan hand drummer running behind me, trying to flag me down She was with Willy. "He knows the way, he'll show us, come with us." Sigh of relief. Gladly.

Willy took us in the opposite direction of my gps. You'd think I'd learn to just put it away. I was truly happy to be with these two beautiful humans.

When we reached the hostel, I showed my reservation. That was for another hostel far away, I'd have to take bus 12??? Bettina (the hand pan woman who did grant me permission to take and post her photo) also had a mix up in her travel arrangements so Willy took the two of us in. Magically, his private room had three beds. My share of that nights stay was $28.

We left our bags in the room, Willy borrowed umbrellas from the reception and we set off on foot. First stop, the train station to get reservations to travel to Oslo the following day. Then we had lattes outside and chatted as best we could. Bettina and Willy both spoke German, Bettina decent English, Willy limited English. Willy was clean and well dressed. Bettina and I agreed it would not be appropriate to ask his age. Bettina is 15 years younger than I (far wiser in many ways) and I would guess Willy is that many years older than I.

I didn't need to understand his words. I feel in love with his spirit, his passion and his minimalist love of adventure. He had no phone, no watch, no credit card. He wore a backpack off the boat and he carried one of those reusable, durable plastic grocery bags. He watched the time by pulling out a small white square - looked like might have been on a bicycle at one time. He did frequently use a small digital camera. He loves flowers, nature and he had a collection of doorknob photos on his camera.

Willy led us on a stroll around town in the rain. We saw quite a few strollers, covered in plastic, and many others out enjoying an evening stroll. He showed us the Leper hospital and many anchant remains. We tried to buy Willy some food but he refused. Bettina and I ate outside at Olivia's. The seating area was covered in plastic, heaters glowing, sheepskin on the chairs and they provided wool blankets. It was delightful. Willy said he would return in an hour and went off on his own to explore and watch the ships in the harbor. When he returned he was so excited, he had a photo of a National Cash Register made in Ohio USA. Then he took us to see the ice bear then back to his room.

Willy used the bathroom in the hall and gave us full use of his. The three us us quietly and peacefully slept. Willy snuck out early for coffee and a sweet bread. Bettina and I had morning tea in the hostel kitchen with other guests from around the world. Then back to see the city. We let him be in charge, he is familiar with Bergen. We strolled through the University botanical gardens - all three of us in awe and wonder at the beauty, the unexpected blooming of spring flowers in September and the magistic trees. By now, Willy is feeling more confident in his English and making greater attempts to talk to me. He even thanked me for listening. He showed us how in Bergen they have special places for people to put ther bottles and cans so those who need the deposit don't have to rummage through the garbage to pull them out.

He picked up litter and garbage along the route and placed it in the nearest waste bin. It brought back memories of walking the ditches by my home when I was a child. There was a brown squid crawling across the rock path we were on. Willy took a leaf and gently moved the squid over to the grass. He explained all his knowledge of the trees, the green he told us is poisonous but you can eat the red berries on it. He wasn't insulted when I declined a berry

"Stop!" He suddenly firmly spoke. There was a beautiful pink flower we likely would have walked past, but upon his instruction we stopped to admire instead.

Bettina gave change to the bigger outside the hostel and to the accordion player in the park. She collected acorns. We had an excellent lunch of cheese sandwiches in the University cafeteria. There were many elementary school children eating there also. I saw one boy, maybe nine years old, sitting in a window, eyes closed, legs crossed, hands up in a meditative stance. A kind little girl showed me how to turn on the water in the restroom. I just was not having any luck.

We toured an old church and before I knew it it was time to go to the train. Willy escorted the two of us - Bettina was in the same train as I. He made sure we got on, accepted several hugs and a kiss on the cheek from me. He permitted one last photo and said, " I will never go to USA so now you take me. In that photo."

I got Bettina's email; I know we'll meet again. I have no contact info for Willy. He probably doesn't have a phone number or an email address. Something broke open inside me, seeing him down on the platform, when I turned to blow one more kiss from the train. He altered my heart with his kindness and his simplicity. I cried like I hadn't cried in a very long time. I welcomed the grieving as I let go of this old man I had fallen in love with in Bergen.

Bettina and I enjoyed the train ride to Oslo. It left Bergen full but dropped off most of the passengers along the way. We played her hand pan drum in the car as it emptied. It calmed my aching heart. I made sure she got on her bus then walked to my hostel in Oslo. I know now, I am beginning to feel again. Eager to feel all Life has to offer.