May 2023 - The Journey from Switzerland to Italy and back!
It is still quite early in the morning and the train has just left the main station in Zurich., now cruising along lake Zurich, direction south..
Having had to change trains, I made a short stop at Migros. I haven’t gone In there for a long time, only the smaller one in Küsnacht where I live. I was totally overwhelmed!!! People were streaming in to buy either breakfast items or lunch to take along to their work place. The selection of breads was huge. Other choices included Japanese foods and a variety of vegetarian and vegan options.
I moved on to the other food departments… rows and rows of candy, chocolate and biscuits… dozens of yoghurt varieties, on and on….fruits and vegetables were also available in abundance, but nothing compared to convenience foods.
People looked harried, unless they met someone they seemed to know, then their faces lit up with a smile…in the adjacent coffee shop area the cups have become smaller and the prices higher, including 30 cents extra for oatmilk cappuccino….
Autumn and winter had been rather stressful and weatherise grey, dark and cold. I missed my refuge in the mountains – I had signed it over to my daughter as I do not have the energy anymore to take care of it and travel back and forth. It is in good hands and I am grateful.
To cheer myself up I have decided to attend to an item on my bucket list: visiting the coast of Amalfi and Capri, both in southern Italy. I have travelled quite a bit, visiting India and Bali several times each, but have never been to the Amalfi area. High time to do so, getting some warmth and sunshine at the same time. (April also had been a cold, rainy and dark month)
Now I am slowly travelling through the beautiful countryside of central Switzerland, along another lake, lake of Lucerne that is actually surrounded by four cantons, called
Four Cantons Lake in German. Here also so much has been built… for my taste, there are definitely too many people inhabiting planet Gaia.
I have chosen to take the train, a nine hour journey. About three years ago I had decided not to fly anymore …anyway taking the plane would have lasted almost as long, including going to and from the airports, the layover in Rome.. and I love to travel in trains.. it is quite leisurely and I can enjoy the countryside.
It really is a journey, inside and out. First the outside one. Other than the train ticket to Napoli and a reservation for two nights in Amalfi in a small hotel right opposite of the Duomo I had no tickets or reservations. I had read that there is a bus from Napoli Centrale, the main station, to Amalfi every twenty minutes. Well, there are three different kinds of busses, called Pullman here, and it took a bit to find the correct place where the one to Amalfi leaves from. I also found out that there is no direct Pullman to Amalfi, other than at rush hour in the morning and late afternoon, and maybe high tourist season. And the one I finally found went to Salerno only. It was packed with shoppers and people returning from work. The driver was very nice and showed me where to get a ticket and the bus to Amalfi, once we had arrived at Salerno. I had just missed it by a minute, whilst purchasing the ticket, next departure in 30 minutes.
It started to get dark, the almost full moon was rising, her light being reflected in the gulf of Salerno as the Pullman climbed and descended the very curvy and narrow road along the coast. Had I made ‘better’ reservations, I would have missed this spectacular drive. All I knew about Amalfi was from rather old movies and that the coast was beautiful. I had no idea it was so mountainous and so steep. Not only were the sights spectacular, I also enjoyed the chatter in Italian of the passengers, with those wonderful Italian expression like, ma dai, in somma, però, figurative ti….
The drive also went through some areas that have been built up for tourists. Again I realised I prefer the more local ,flavours’ with less comfort.
My inner journey has actually started several decades ago, and as these journeys go, it is ongoing. The specific tools I am availing myself right now of are Jack Kornfield’s Mindfulness, kind compassion and reading Michael Singer’s Untethered soul, as well as the books by Baird Spalding, Life and Teaching of the Masters of the Far East that have accompanied me for quite some years now.
They dovetail each other very nicely. Yesterday was interesting money-awareness wise. A bit basic.. but here it goes. At the main station in Zurich I needed to use the ladies’ room…and thought of going to a café in order to save on the fee…. As I said, it was very basic… and then decided that this was ridiculous and went to the official ladies, coin in hand. The entry gates were being repaired and so it was free. A very similar thing happened at Milano station.. I had only banknotes for 50 Euros and wanted to get some change … the guy at the currency exchange told me I needed to buy something from him, like a city map, which I definitely didn’t need. So I proceeded and told the young man at the entrance that I only had large notes…with a smile he waved me through….to top it all off, the Pullman driver let me ride for free as tickets are not sold on the bus. Another ,tale’ of money. It is the usual opinion that on Italian trains a ride in 2nd class is a no-go. I must have hit a wrong button for the ride from Milano to Napoli, as it was for second class…. and you know what? It was a bit crowded but totally ok…
The inside journey is apparently about money and class and what values I attach to them. I have no problem roughing it in other continents, cultures and places… but obviously very different ideas about doing it in Europe…
Jack’s questions about intentions, motivations, and what lies behind, under them are most fascinating, especially one’s answers that pop up. The basis of this journey lies also in another book: Luminous life by Jacob Liberman. And of course in the teachings of advanced cranio-sacral therapy by the late Mike Boxhall. He used to say: Trust the Tide. The tide here is the ebb and flow of energies in the body we work with in CST, for me a metaphor for life.
As much as I am able to, I follow intuition…and also let myself know what I would like. On the first morning I walked up along the Main Street and went on beyond the point where most tourists stop, discovered a most interesting museum about the traditional art of making paper, that was very popular here about two or even more hundred years ago… then went on beyond that to discover a wonderful path along a river that used to feed the paper mills and now is used to water the lemon trees on both sides, that are cultivated for the famous Limoncello liqueur. The Restaurant Miseria e Nobilità served linguine al Limone, and highlighted with its name another tool I use: Reclamation, developed by Peter Koenig and is among other things based on the shadow work of C. G. Jung, the psychiatrist, who used to live and work in the town I live now!! It seems to me this journey is allowing me to see, experience a more integral picture of all that I have learned over the years, decades, really!
I have my window open to the piazza and I can hear all the chatter, honking of cars, ringing of bicycle bells as well as the periodic ringing of the various church bells. They seem to ring a lot!!!
Singer makes us aware of our constant inner chatter… mine is a lot about eating or not eating, especially here in Italy an important topic!! I have also become more acutely aware how often I explain, justify and defend myself…got to go deeper into the who and what are the triggers for that… you see, even though I travel alone, there is always ,someone’ talking to me.
Another topic dear to my heart is minimalism…not that I have reached it yet. However I do travel lightly, all my things for five days are in a backpack… I was especially reminded of the practicality of it when I saw all these people, many of them Asian and the US, but by no means all of them, with their huge and cumbersome suitcases on the train stations and in the trains. It does take a bit of planning, like clothes that I can mix and match, that are easy to wash and dry in a hotel bathroom, and especially not to worry about that you might want something that you have left at home. Toiletries are also held to a minimum, e.g. one cream for face and body. I take a small piece of Marseille soap that can be used for skin, hair and clothes.
Last night was full moon, apparently one of those powerful moons, this one called Flower or Blooming moon… I had been following a couple of astrologers on their YouTube channels. The conclusion has been more or less the same over the months: it’s turbulent on all levels, keep breathing, especially through the heart, keep grounded and calm. Since this fits into my general longtime aspiration of living with a calm and peaceful mind and an open and loving heart, I have stopped, for the moment to listen to them.
Whilst I am sitting on the terrace where breakfast is served, looking at old and beautiful buildings, listening to the chatter of people on the piazza below and hearing all the carts rattling over the cobble stones, delivering all the things we tourists might like to eat, drink or buy. The cleaning and disposing of rubbish starts around 4 am, when it is still dark. It’s quite shocking to see all this rubbish… and this is only from one small part of a rather small town! How much more is there in the whole town, the area, the province, the country, the continent, all the continents?!
Sitting here peacefully and yet surrounded by the sounds of life and people brings up my intermittently appearing question of how and where to live. I live alone with my dachshund Jim-Pablo in a flat in my own hose. Two more flats are rented out to two truly lovely couples, one with a small child, the second on her way.
I am not very skilled in long term relationships, and I would rather spend time alone than with people I find challenging… and yet there is also this longing of sharing my life with a man and two other couples. I have an image that comes popping up of a terrace in front of a country style house with either Italian or British feel to it, that we share… and then the inner voice interferes reminding me of my relationships history and my age….a more benevolent voice invites me to recognise and appreciate how much I have changed and grown. According to astrologers there are great changes happening, especially for my sign, Taurus. So, for right now I keep an open mind and open heart….and allow miracles into my life …small ones are already happening….and maybe they happened all the time and I am becoming more aware of them now; who knows.
The last episode, almost last, in Amalfi was really amazing..typically Italian. The Main Street, where all the stores and restaurants are, is so narrow that it can be driven only one way at a time, regulated by traffic lights. This noon, one driver obviously disregarded the red one on his side…and a total congestion happened..two cars head to head… pedestrians even had to stand still… a carabineri came and guided a few cars to drive backwards, not an easy task at all… but it worked well and quite soon one way traffic was reinstalled.
I went by a pastry shop that also had some tables outside ad served coffee. Just as I passed the last small table, the young man got up, leaving…we smiled at each other: perfect timing. As soon as I was seated another young man came and said that he had been waiting inline…well i had not seen any line and there was none then…I suggested he share the table and he answered that they were in two. I replied that I was sorry…he retorted that this was not enough, but I kept sitting.. a couple minutes later his young female companion planted herself in front of me, telling me I was not very kind at all. ,Yes…,’ and thought I was kind to myself…a couple of minutes later the table next to me became free and two more in no time….there was something in this episode that has to do with age, patience, acceptance…also for me to accept that they judged me…clearly feeling to be in the right…I gave them the opportunity to be generous and kind …but they chose not to take it… a cop out on my side? Maybe and maybe not.
I travelled to Capri by boat. It is very similar to and also very different from Amalfi. More later.
Listening to Jack Kornfield..the story of the monks and the rabbi with his vision of the Messiah…treating oneself and others with respect.
The accommodation in Capri is very different, in a B&B, on the main road, actually the only one for cars between the harbour and Capri town itself. About a 15 - 20 minutes walk to either one. Very quiet, car traffic from afar, a dog barking or seagull screaming once in a while. Capri Harbour seems to be a lot like Amalfi, mostly cheap tourist stuff, ice cream and pizza places. A taxi stand with the most unusual and really ingenious cars built especially; with an open roof, two rows of seats, a bit like the London taxis, so it can seat 4 in the back and one next to the driver. They are mostly quite colourful, various car makers build them like that. They remind me also of the old convertibles that are used for taxis and sight seeing in Havana, Cuba.
Capri town itself is very chic indeed, with many high end clothing, shoe and jewellery shops. There are beautiful hotels on the way to Anacapri and in Anacapri itself… for a longer stay and a carte blanche budget certainly very tempting. The restaurants look more gourmet type than in Amalfi. Lunch today in Anacapri was very much gourmet… two day tourists chose cheaper pizza places, after having had a look at the menu and its prices. My starter was braised romaine lettuce, with a sprinkle of pine nuts, raisins and olives. Creative and good.
Here also, streams of day tour groups were shepherded through the town, stickers on there lapels, or the place where a lapel would be, made sure they knew where they belonged to, little gadgets around their necks with an earplug made sure they got some information on where they were as well as enabled them to realise they were too far from the group when the couldn’t hear the murmur of the shepherd anymore.
I meandered through the incredibly narrow streets of the village, where the locals live. Quiet, high walls, enclosed gardens with lemon trees; at least it seems so, the treetops peaked over the walls and once in a while their was a gate made of wrought iron that allowed a glimpse of the garden.
What strikes me here on Capri as well as in Amalfi, that about 90% of the people are overweight, a number of these even grossly obese.
I realised that I am actually on a sort of almost silent retreat here. I hardly talk to anybody, walk a lot and read in the untethered soul, slowly and becoming more and more aware of being aware, of being a witness. Last night I read of the best idea to have and live with an open heart is to not close it …. How does one accomplish that? By making sure the heart is open whenever we meet someone… I practiced a bit on the bus, the queue for the bus and also the queue for the best ice cream in town. And instead of being scary, as I had thought this would make me very vulnerable, it was a nice calm and warm feeling. And it’s different than reciting the METTA prayer; with that one I can still feel distant and safe. During one of the recorded trainings I had bought from Jack Kornfield he tells a story of a wise man saying to a young man who is very proud of being a lone wolf, that only a sick wolf is a lone wolf; wolves are pack animals….fits right in with my longing to belong and letting go of my lone wolf image…It is still strong and I feel to protected that way.
If I would be travelling with a companion we would spend a lot of time communicating, which would definitely be nice…and right now I have obviously chosen to be on a personal retreat. I sit here in the courtyard of the B&B as tourist and sightseeing life goes on beyond these walls. Back to Michael Singer to untether my soul a bit more. Freedom, here I come ….
Sunday morning at the main train station in Napoli
Well, well we’ll…. not as free yet as I would like to be.. I guess I am being tested about sitting back in awareness, with a calm mind and open heart.. everything went hunker dory… until I got to the gate of the train I wanted to take. I had a reservation for the later train, but was early and happy to be home earlier and being able to pick up Jim-Pablo already today…. Well, I was just in time, but the guy at the gate didn’t let me go in, told me I had to change the ticket at the express counter..I went there and greeted the guy… he was very busy dong nothing, I told him my wish to change the ticket to now….he laboriously took my ticket, asked again what I wanted. In the meantime the train was just about to leave, so I asked for my ticket back. He kept studying it….I got even more uptight than before…
Now I am sitting in a café in the station….becoming aware and conscious, tracing back where the mishap started. I arrived by metro at the station, followed the signs to the train station, but turned back when I couldn’t see the tracks. Back at the metro station I asked where the trains to Milano left and was directed back to where I came from. Had I stopped the first time, taken a deep breath and looked around calmly,I would be sitting on the train in direction of Milano now…..I do get jittery when I drink coffee, especially an espresso on an empty stomach, which i did at the harbour of Capri….I forget to breathe calmly, be connected and centred, relax my shoulders and look around, either for written information or person I could ask….. right now I have mixed feelings, being sad at sabotaging myself and grateful for the lesson at the same time.
In another hour the train will leave, this time with, me on it….
And I am even on the train to Zurich, although we were late arriving in Milano…lots of people running, first needing to find out which track, as in Italy it is not so well organised as in Switzerland, where they tell us, which track we are arriving on, which side of the train we descend and which tracks the corresponding trains are leaving….
In the meantime, on the train from Napoli to Milano I had a lot of time to work on letting go! I think I finally understood something I hadn’t realised before….even though, recollecting all that I had learned I could have achieved it quite some time ago. I guess I had known it mentally, cognitively but obviously hadn’t embodied it yet. and now I can apply it: instead of beating myself up about my slowness, I observe my mind and also am aware of my feelings and let them take their run.
My journey is ending well, on the correct train home, being calm with an open heart becoming a real possibility!!!
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